Have I told y’all about the neighborhood my parents live in? Well, strap in because I’m about to. For reasons that are reasons, after completing my Cap shield last week, we’re making a second one. Which we were working on Friday when the lawn/odd jobs man (he built a deck and a bathroom for the … Continue reading Friday in Retirement Acres
Miss Connie and her husband are on vacation, so their daughter is house- and pet-sitting. Today, she came over and knocked on my parents door. She’s in her mid-20s chronologically, but her disgust level rivaled that of any fifty-five year old office worker. “Do you need any meat?” She asked dispiritedly. “I’m sorry?” My mother … Continue reading Wherein we meet a cat
Scandal rocked Retirement Acres this week as not one but TWO petitions were circulated through the neighborhood. We shall examine them in no particular order. First we encounter Mrs V as she presents a petition ultimately destined for the city council to the evening gathering of neighborhood gentlemen. Having solved the world’s problems, they turn … Continue reading Retirement Acres vs The City
Previously on Tales From Retirement Acres: “Mom,” our hapless protagonist protested, “I’m on call and your house is in a technological black hole. And you don’t have WiFi.” “I know all that, but your grandmother thinks this is one of the last six times you’ll see her on this mortal plane, so—“ “Fine. Fine. I’ll … Continue reading A Call to the IT Department
Retirement Acres is the probably-not-fictional-enough neighborhood inhabited by my parents and an assorted cast of characters (human and pet) that suffer through far more adventures than should be statistically possible. These are some of their stories. Names have been changed to protect myself, because if they ever figure out the internet...I’m hosed.