The Ashes, The Cat, and the Locomotive

Holidays in Retirement Acres are no laughing matter. Indeed, the police have been called multiple times to settle arguments about Halloween or Christmas decorations that disturbed one neighbor or another by crossing property lines.  Nobody ever considers the line of good taste, but that’s a different story for a different day. “You have to speak … Continue reading The Ashes, The Cat, and the Locomotive

Now We Shall Sing You the Song of Our People.

Retirement Acres is located not far, as the crow flies, from a nuclear plant. This in and of itself is not a tremendous cause for concern; indeed, many of the denizens of Retirement Acres spent their careers there.  However, because of reasons, the first Wednesday of every month is Nuclear Plant Siren Testing Day.  Over … Continue reading Now We Shall Sing You the Song of Our People.

Get Me to the Church On Time

(Author’s note: This story is going to seem like it’s religious in nature.  It isn’t.)   It is difficult approaching impossible to get people to speak at the Children’s Moment sessions at the Retirement Acres church. Dealing with grandkids is one thing; speaking in front of the whole congregation is why we pay the preacher. Nevertheless, … Continue reading Get Me to the Church On Time

Retirement Acres vs The City

Scandal rocked Retirement Acres this week as not one but TWO petitions were circulated through the neighborhood. We shall examine them in no particular order. First we encounter Mrs V as she presents a petition ultimately destined for the city council to the evening gathering of neighborhood gentlemen. Having solved the world’s problems, they turn … Continue reading Retirement Acres vs The City

A Call to the IT Department 

Previously on Tales From Retirement Acres: “Mom,” our hapless protagonist protested, “I’m on call and your house is in a technological black hole. And you don’t have WiFi.” “I know all that, but your grandmother thinks this is one of the last six times you’ll see her on this mortal plane, so—“ “Fine. Fine. I’ll … Continue reading A Call to the IT Department