The Retirement Acres Dramatis Personae (Subject to change)

Mom & Dad: Mom and Dad. The owners and proprietors of Chez Auto. Mom is retired. Dad is a retired engineer, which is at least twice as dangerous.  Guardians of:

426, Tiller, Wyoming, and Wayne: their dogs

Brother: their son and my brother. He has his moments. And also a wife, who would prefer to remain out of this for professional reasons.  Noted.

Dr W: A dentist (it’s relevant)

Mrs Gwen: His wife

Mr Glenn: A recent widower, also companion and chauffer to

Bruce: a husky. With opinions.

Monsieur et Madame Canape: Residents of Casa Canape. Users of the internet. They should not be.

Miss Connie: A neighbor, and staff for

Demon: a cat.  Allegedly.

Mr and Mrs Frogman: a retired Navy seal (allegedly) and his wife.  Handlers for:

The ninja cats: tormentors to Bruce and 426. Spies. Allegedly. Number uncertain.

Mr. and Mrs. Preacher: The preacher (ret) and his spouse. Mrs. Preacher being the one most likely to kill me for the crime of referring to her by something other than her name. Also for “putting her on Facebook and such nonsense.”

Mrs. PastorInTraining: a devout woman studying to become a cleric. She occupies the library, but wishes many of these books did not. Also coordinates Mr. Preacher’s calendar and takes the brunt of Mrs. Preacher’s helpful suggestions. Previously the owner of a cat.

Big Miss M: A widow, and grandmother to

Little Miss M: heaven help us.

Miss Betty: her BFF. Possibly a widow, she is impossibly vague on the subject. Cannot return to Arkansas. No, there’s no reason for that.

Mr and Mrs Bob: featured players at the church. Mr Bob is a veteran and also deaf as a post. Mrs Bob is quite loud and also impatient. Parents to

Miss P: a nurse. Not that kind.  Mother to

Little P: She hates this haircut.

Sparky: a widower (she said she was sick). Father to

Mary: don’t ask her about the Children’s Moment

Mrs. Nightshift: mother of Meaghan and The Grandson. I only know one of them.

Mrs. OnlinePoker: an excellent baker and also closet online poker player.

Mrs Andrews: A widow and would-be matchmaker. Also the Valley’s science teacher and one of the first ladies to attend and graduate from college. Quite accomplished. Loves to drive. Should not.

Mrs BomberPilot: Sister to Mrs Andrews. Formerly the Valley bus driver. She will tell you how to get there from here.  You better listen.

Mrs B: carrier of a purse. Also possessed of a mean left hook with the purse.

Mr. Shoes: a retiree. Needs to mind his own business.

Mr. Cycle: a retiree. Very enthusiastic. A romantic. Retirement Acres’ oldest living cyclist. Helmets are for sissies.

Lola: A grandmother. She resides with her children, her granddaughter (intermittently) and also

Lola: a spaniel.

Mario: The lawn man and jack of all trades. He landscapes, plants things, removes things he has planted, builds decks, removes decks, removes Jacuzzis, and thinks Wayne is actually a moose. He may not be wrong. Not a resident of Retirement Acres, but keeps getting sucked in.  Was hired six years ago to do some light work in a yard. Is elbow deep in requests.

8 thoughts on “The Retirement Acres Dramatis Personae (Subject to change)

    1. In the interest of some anonymity, I have changed the names of everyone including my own dogs. But when we got him, my brother wanted to name him after the dog in Gone in 60 Seconds. Our house is called Chez Auto for many, many (many) reasons. These two things are related.


      1. Ah. I see. Sort of. I have never seen the movie, and am reading the Wikipedia entry on it now. Unfortunately, there’s nothing in there about a dog, by any name. So, I am still slightly confused, but I’m sure I’ll get over it.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, I have a couple of likes, so I’m going to assume at least two people might be interested:
      First off, we have my parents.
      Dad is American, 62, officially semi-retired (25 years in the Navy and now working part-time). Unofficially, he’ll retire for real the day he dies. Resident Mr. Fix-It and very proud of the fact that his three daughters know their way around a tool box. Also a bit of a sci-fi geek and regular dispenser of dad jokes.
      Mom is French, 61, professional SAHM and now honorary grandma to some of our friends’ kids. Arguably the biggest sports fan in the house (which is saying something). Occasionally questions her daughters’ life choices but is ultimately supportive. Is also a pastor and has a ministry but it’s not a church. Has to explain that a lot.
      I’m the oldest child. See my About Me page.
      Audrey is the middle child. 29. Probably a genius, or close to it. HUGE tennis fan, works/volunteers at just about every tournament she can. In between, fills up on all manner of geeky things and experiments in the kitchen (said experiments are generally more edible now than in the past). Also the resident computer expert.
      Sandrine is the youngest. 27. Lives in Wales and is apparently being fully assimilated. Responsible for many of my current fandoms. Has been the loudest of us since day 1. We love her anyway. Obsessed with all things Celtic and Native American. Also horses.
      The critters:
      Lucy. My cat. 7 years old. Cute and she knows it. Also possibly part dog.
      Twilight (RIP). Audrey’s cat. Lived to 16 1/2. 3-legged sasspants who loved a good cuddle. And tomatoes. And apples.
      Roxer (RIP). Sandrine’s dog. Golden Retriever. Bilingual (3 if you count Dog). Good boy. Gone way too soon.
      Mountain Blue. Horse (mare). Age 12. Was my project horse for 3 years, recently re-homed due to injury. A little spazzy and possibly ADHD but very eager to please and overall a joy to work with. Very much missed at the moment.
      Couelita (pronounced Kwell-ee-TAH). Horse (mare). Age 5. Current project horse. Still getting acquainted. Shows lots of promise. Definitely a bit of a sasspants but not obnoxiously so. Hates flies but is deathly afraid of fly spray. Issue has yet to be resolved.
      Also found at the barn:
      Fred. Owner and head riding instructor. Fantastic coach, notoriously (and occasionally frustratingly) absent-minded. Seems to have a thing for quirky horses. I am not complaining.
      Lucie. Other riding instructor. Made of awesome. Dog-mom to Moky, 1-year-old Australian Shepherd and Good Boy.
      Boulette the Barn Cat. Magnificent floof.
      Various assorted humans and equines, identified in posts as needed.

      At work (The Nougat Factory) we have:
      Boss-Man. Basically grew up in the family business and will probably keep making nougat as long as physically possible. When not elbows deep in the stuff, is busy with the behind-the-scenes stuff that keeps the rest of us employed.
      Boss-Man’s wife, A. Mostly does order prepping/shipping and serving customers at the store. Always up for a chat.
      Assistant Manager (also Boss-Man’s cousin), S. Helps with the administrative stuff, taking and prepping orders. Basically helps keep everything organized.
      C, aka the Mustache Guy. Veteran employee. Go-to guy when the chocolate machine is being finicky (ie. pretty much always). Likes to tease F about her fear of mice.
      F, aka Turkish Lady. Mostly does order prepping. Don’t talk to her about mice.

      I’d add the folks at church, but even after a year I’m still having trouble keeping names straight. Give it another year and I might be able to name all the adults. The kids might take another decade (we have a LOT of kids).


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